When most seventeen-year-olds hear the phrase “planning for the future” they immediately think of prom, graduation, and choosing a college. Because of my dad’s unexpected death, I know planning for the future has a much broader meaning. I understand the importance of financial planning and life insurance.

My dad’s death had a significant impact on my life. My parents hasn’t had much time to plan for their future or ours. They had a lot of debt, little savings, and a small life insurance policy. Our lives changed overnight when my dad has a fatal heart attack. My mom became a single mom to four-year-old twins. The loss of his income led to additional losses. We lost our home. We had to give up our dog. Extracurricular activities stopped. Everything changed.

Things only became harder three years ago when my mom was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer. At thirteen, I was faced with the possibility of losing my only living parent. It was scary but thankfully she is in remission. Treatments and surgeries left her weak and in need of assistance. This was my opportunity to give back to my mom for all had done for us. In between school and practice, I spent my time at home looking after my mom, helping with housework, and preparing meals. Taking care of her made me realize how hard it must have been for her after my dad died given our financial situation.

I have played the “what if” game many times in my head. What if my dad hasn’t died? Or what if my dad had lived longer? What if my parents had a chance to plan ahead so there was more money available from life insurance? If any of these things occurred, then maybe things would be different. Maybe I would remember my dad and now just stories I’ve heard about him. Maybe we wouldn’t have had to move. Maybe we could have kept our dog. Maybe my mom wouldn’t have always been so stressed out about money. Maybe I would know how I was going to afford college. Maybe I wouldn’t have to spend my weekends babysitting to save money for school instead of spending them with my friends. Maybe I wouldn’t need to worry about not being able to accomplish my dream of becoming a nurse.

My father’s death and my mother’s subsequent illness showed me that I possess a unique ability to empathize with others and inspired me to pursue a nursing career. I know the toll an illness can take on a family. I can appreciate the joy the comes with recovery. I understand the devastation that accompanies grief and loss. And most importantly, I know that because life happens, it is crucial to always be prepared.

When a child’s parent dies, the absolute last thing that should be on their mind is financial panic. Unfortunately, when families don’t have adequate life insurance, this panic is what kids and loved ones left behind are brought to. To my horror, I became one of these children in October of 2021, after my mother passed away due to COVID-19. Her death was extremely unexpected, and it left my father and me absolutely scrambling in fear of the future.

My mom was my biggest supporter, and we had plans to begin college visits during the fall break of my junior year. However, she ended up passing away that exact week. My dad spent the entirety of her sickness talking to doctors and trying to get her transferred to other hospitals with more resources; we weren’t thinking about what we were going to do afterward if the unimaginable occurred. But, it did. Eventually college was once again a concern. Time didn’t stop for grief. College was fast approaching, and I had barely begun my search. All I knew was that the medical field had always been my goal, and my mom was my biggest advocate. The Christmas before her passing, she even bought me my first stethoscope! Regardless that she won’t be physically here to help with my college expenses, she will always be the reason I have the courage to pursue my dream, despite the unknown of how I will get through it.

The one thing that is always true about tragedy is that you never think it will happen to you. My mom was incredibly healthy and very young— we had no idea that COVID-19 could take her life. She did not have life insurance, and it is one of my family’s biggest regrets. If my mom had life insurance, we would have been able to put more of a focus on healing, rather than keeping up with bills. Life insurance would have provided my family a safety net from the funeral expenses, travel expenses from my grandmother and aunt in Hungary, and endless medical bills we were bombarded with immediately after her death. It would have helped my dad and I find our way in this unexpected tragedy.

Instead, my mother’s passing forced me to grow up much earlier than expected. I got a job as a swim instructor, a job as a swim coach, and I babysat for neighbors. I worked to take accountability for my own spending to try my best to relieve the pressure from my newly widowed father. I taught my dad everything my mom taught me about cooking so that we weren’t spending money at restaurants every night, and I focused on my school work despite my grief so that I could qualify for good colleges. I learned how to be independent and I learned the value of working hard for things in life— I’d like to hope that my mother would be proud of the woman I have become. 

On Easter morning, April 24, 2011, I woke up to screams. When most seven year old children were searching for their Easter baskets, I was watching my dad perform CPR on my unresponsive mother. She went into cardiac arrest in her sleep, and she was pronounced dead in the ambulance. Because of how long ago it was, it is often strange to remember how I felt. I was so young that I didn’t quite understand the uphill battle we were sure to face. I didn’t know it at the time, but any concept of a pure childhood was lost forever.

Before my mother passed away, she was in the process of obtaining a professional license to become a dental assistant. Being so young I didn’t quite understand the concept of a budget. We were already poor, and we would only become poorer from this point on. If my mother was able to achieve her goal of becoming a dental assistant, my father wouldn’t have had to work so much. Living on a single income is difficult, especially in a state like California. Without my mother’s death I feel confident that my family would have created a college fund. As of today, the only money I have for college comes from the scholarships I have earned. I have maintained a 4.07 GPA, and I refuse to let my situation dictate my life. I have sought athletics as a way to obtain scholarship funding, and any wages I earned would promptly be given to my father.

Over the next six years of my life, my father and I would end up far worse than we imagined. When you’re that young you feel so helpless. It’s daunting, it’s cruel, and I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. In all honesty, I didn’t know what life insurance was until ten years after my mom’s death. You can never put a dollar amount on someone’s life, but you can definitely feel how much you need their financial contributions when they are gone. We soon found ourselves living in a motel. From age 12-13 I lived in the same 120 square foot motel room. While there I witnessed countless drug deals, a neighbor commit suicide, and dealt with far too many drunks. I never choose to pity myself, but I will not invalidate the fact that my childhood was taken from me. In 2017 my father and I were forced to search for cheaper living in Arizona. Every friend I ever knew was now gone, I have missed holiday gatherings, and many birthdays. Any form of life insurance surely would have slowed the downhill spiral we got caught in.

My life goal was to make my dad’s life easier. Given the circumstances, he has done an exceptional job. Obtaining a degree will allow me to pursue a life that I want, not a life that was bestowed upon me. I don’t dream of riches, or jewels; I simply want a fresh start at life.