As I walked to the plate, bat in hand, I could always count on one person, yelling and cheering me on. From the softball field to the basketball court, my dad’s booming voice always rose above all the others. He was my biggest supporter, sometimes my harshest critic, but always my motivation. But at 14 years old, he was gone. A heart attack ripped me away from the person that was my rock and my foundation. I was left not knowing how to react or what I was going to do with my life. I never knew how much he pushed me until he was gone. “Life is not fair, get used to it.” How many times had I heard my dad say these words? Now, they held so much more meaning.
At first, I was lost and in disbelief that tragedies happened to 14-year-olds. There were some angry pity party moments where I wanted to wither up in depression, but Dad’s words kept playing through my mind. When he passed, I had to regain confidence and it gave me a sense of determination. I had to figure out how I could push myself. But I also know I wouldn’t be where I am today if my dad didn’t push me to be that person. My dad died of a heart attack, and my question could I have made a difference if I had been there? It was when I came to that last question that I realized there was one part of it I could control “making a difference.” I could not help my father but I could do something to make a difference for others. I could become a nurse. I want to try to bring back someone’s loved one. I want to be able to say I saved a life today. That thought has never left my brain about if I could have been there, then maybe I could have helped somehow.

This scholarship will help me pay for books. I have often pondered going to a 4-year school but starting at a 2-year school will save me some money. My mom has helped me with many things throughout my life, but with 5 kids as a single parent, it is hard for her to put 5 kids through college. If my dad would have had life insurance some of the hospital bills, funeral expenses, and many other things would have helped will all those bills. I have worked since I was 13. I have put most of my money into buying a reliable car and helping my mom pay the bills around the house. I am self-reliant with my bills and only spend money when it’s needed. Managing my money will be essential as I move into the next step. Coming out of nursing school with very little debt is my goal, and I’m working hard to meet that. Your scholarship consideration will be very helpful in helping me meet my goals. I’ve done all I can to take an unfair life and turn it into a life that will help others in their times of need. I hear my dad’s booming voice in the back of my head yelling “You got this, I am so proud of you, and you are ready for this.”

My name is Nicholas Layman and I lost my dad to Lymphoma cancer on June 26, 2015 when I was only twelve. My dad was diagnosed in 2009 and for six years, our family experienced an emotional and financial journey of hardship and hope. Life does indeed happen, and we valued each day.

My dad’s chemotherapy treatments affected his physical and emotional health, no two days the same. Despite years of chemotherapy, the cancer had spread throughout his entire body. Our oncologist suggested a stem cell transplant as a last hope. We all remained optimistic. My dad’s body rejected the stem cells after several days, and he was back to chemotherapy. There was nothing left anyone could do to help him. Due to the amount of pain and trying to ease the burden to our family, my dad took his own life on June 26, 2015. My dad left us all written notes on index cards that day. I still ask the question, why us and why him?

Friends and family helped us organize his funeral service at no cost at one of the local churches. I remember asking my mom (who is on permanent disability due to multiple sclerosis) that week, if she would have to go back to work. She told me not to worry about money and to just be a kid. Being so young, I was unaware of the financial burden this journey had placed upon our family but how does one place monetary value on time?

My dad had no life insurance. At the age of 34, he was denied a policy, due to a kidney ailment. He was listed as “uninsurable.” Without the security of life insurance, our family changed our spending habits and sold many assets such as our motorhome, boat and even my dad’s car, due to the debt incurred from treatment. While this may seem practical, it was hard selling these assets which all had a good memory or story attached. I contributed in a way that only a 12-year old could at the time. I sold personal possessions at garage sales, learned how to flip sneakers and clothing and did various jobs for family members to help my mom. In the next few years, I got jobs refereeing and tutoring at my Boys & Girls Club. I was learning the value of money.

Today, as I reflect on seven years ago, I realize that I had learned a new word in 2015, resiliency. While I cannot afford a four-year university like many of my friends today, I manage to self-finance my education through scholarships and grants. I am currently a full-time student at Moorpark Community College working towards my Associate’s Degree and will pursue a Bachelor’s degree in business at California State University Northridge (CSUN) in 2023. The “Life Lessons” scholarship by Life Happens will help me sustain my continuing education and I greatly appreciate your time and consideration as a recipient and ambassador.