I must confess that writing this essay has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. Thinking of him, my old man, hero, and role model, makes me emotional every single time. After a long battle with brain cancer, my dad lost his life on December 22, 2017. Since then, I don’t see Christmas as a time for celebration but rather a time to grieve and commemorate his life.
I was only nineteen when I had to see him attend monthly chemotherapy sessions and spend his last days suffering in a hospital bed. Financially, his disease affected my family significantly as we couldn’t afford to pay the medical bills that started to pilled up in our kitchen counter. My mom, a teacher assistant, struggled to make ends meet, working two additional part-time jobs on the afternoons and the weekends. To help her out, I dropped out of my first year of college and started working a full-time and a part-time job to pay for the rent and feed my three siblings. If my dad had only had life insurance, we would not have had to struggle this way. Personally, this situation had a toll on my mental and physical health. I developed severe depression, panic attacks, and an eating disorder. I honestly never thought I could recover from that, but God gave me the strength of a phoenix, who rises from the ashes and flies high and proudly on the sky. I can now proudly say that I am on my way to achieving my dreams, making my whole family proud, inspiring my siblings to stand up after they fall, and letting others know that God’s love heals the deepest wounds.
Unfortunately, I was absent from school for two years following my dad’s death. But, in the fall of 2019, I enrolled in a community college where—two years later—I graduated with a double degree and highest honors. I am now a transfer student at UC Berkeley, double majoring in Global Studies and Spanish & Portuguese. Winning this scholarship would change tremendously. First, it would help me reduce my financial stress and focus on my studies more. The money would help me secure a place to live during my senior year and pay my student loans. Second, it would help me to get one step closer to achieving my dream of becoming a foreign service officer. And lastly, it would help me create an online platform to help other students who have experienced a similar situation get back to school and find the resources they need to thrive academically.
I’m no longer in ashes; I’m flying high, hoping to light up the way for those who haven’t risen yet.
I love you, Dad!

My father was the greatest man I have ever known. Strong, loyal, and incredibly kind, he led by example and always put my mom, little sister, and me above himself. Just two months ago, despite following all vaccination and other protocols, both of my parents became very sick with Covid. My mother recovered, but my father was taken to the ICU where he later passed away on January 9… thrusting us into pain to excruciating for words.

My parents were college sweethearts, and my little sister and I became the center of their world. Dad was deeply involved and present in everything we did and loved us more than anything. His devotion to us was palpable, and losing him feels unbearable.

On top of our grief, and with very little life insurance, we now face insurmountable bills from the hospital, funeral home, and cemetery without the ability to pay our creditors. If we had adequate life insurance, so many things could be different. A good life insurance policy would have supplemented Dad’s lost income and would have helped us to make ends meet. Instead, we now have to sell my childhood home and move in with relatives. My disabled mother, a teacher, must now find evening work, and I have tripled my shifts at both of my regular jobs while picking up various neighborhood jobs. We have had to borrow money from family just to stay afloat. We are selling belongings, including cherished items once belonging to my dad, but it’s not enough. Having adequate life insurance would have provided me not only financial stability but the emotional security that goes along with it. Then, my family could have focused our energy and efforts where they should be: on each other, and on our grief and healing.

Good life insurance could also have helped to make my dream of college a financial reality. Desired out of state and private colleges are now financially unattainable. I worked so hard through school to overcome my learning disabilities and to get accepted to colleges, but now, the price tag is my greatest obstacle. I have always wanted to literally build a better world through engineering, and I still hope to get that chance. I also hope to earn a professional salary in order to assist my mother as she continues to raise my little sister.

There is now a before and after. In the before, there was happiness, stability, joy, and normalcy. In the after, there is financial instability, profound grief, and learning to rebuild our lives. Here in the after, my mother and I still seek ways to make my college dream a reality. One step is to become a candidate the Life Lessons Scholarship. Any financial assistance will be sincerely appreciated, taken seriously, and put to good use. I hope to one day return the favor and contribute to a scholarship just like this one.

Thank you so much for your consideration and for the chance to tell my story.

As I walked to the plate, bat in hand, I could always count on one person, yelling and cheering me on. From the softball field to the basketball court, my dad’s booming voice always rose above all the others. He was my biggest supporter, sometimes my harshest critic, but always my motivation. But at 14 years old, he was gone. A heart attack ripped me away from the person that was my rock and my foundation. I was left not knowing how to react or what I was going to do with my life. I never knew how much he pushed me until he was gone. “Life is not fair, get used to it.” How many times had I heard my dad say these words? Now, they held so much more meaning.
At first, I was lost and in disbelief that tragedies happened to 14-year-olds. There were some angry pity party moments where I wanted to wither up in depression, but Dad’s words kept playing through my mind. When he passed, I had to regain confidence and it gave me a sense of determination. I had to figure out how I could push myself. But I also know I wouldn’t be where I am today if my dad didn’t push me to be that person. My dad died of a heart attack, and my question could I have made a difference if I had been there? It was when I came to that last question that I realized there was one part of it I could control “making a difference.” I could not help my father but I could do something to make a difference for others. I could become a nurse. I want to try to bring back someone’s loved one. I want to be able to say I saved a life today. That thought has never left my brain about if I could have been there, then maybe I could have helped somehow.

This scholarship will help me pay for books. I have often pondered going to a 4-year school but starting at a 2-year school will save me some money. My mom has helped me with many things throughout my life, but with 5 kids as a single parent, it is hard for her to put 5 kids through college. If my dad would have had life insurance some of the hospital bills, funeral expenses, and many other things would have helped will all those bills. I have worked since I was 13. I have put most of my money into buying a reliable car and helping my mom pay the bills around the house. I am self-reliant with my bills and only spend money when it’s needed. Managing my money will be essential as I move into the next step. Coming out of nursing school with very little debt is my goal, and I’m working hard to meet that. Your scholarship consideration will be very helpful in helping me meet my goals. I’ve done all I can to take an unfair life and turn it into a life that will help others in their times of need. I hear my dad’s booming voice in the back of my head yelling “You got this, I am so proud of you, and you are ready for this.”

My name is Nicholas Layman and I lost my dad to Lymphoma cancer on June 26, 2015 when I was only twelve. My dad was diagnosed in 2009 and for six years, our family experienced an emotional and financial journey of hardship and hope. Life does indeed happen, and we valued each day.

My dad’s chemotherapy treatments affected his physical and emotional health, no two days the same. Despite years of chemotherapy, the cancer had spread throughout his entire body. Our oncologist suggested a stem cell transplant as a last hope. We all remained optimistic. My dad’s body rejected the stem cells after several days, and he was back to chemotherapy. There was nothing left anyone could do to help him. Due to the amount of pain and trying to ease the burden to our family, my dad took his own life on June 26, 2015. My dad left us all written notes on index cards that day. I still ask the question, why us and why him?

Friends and family helped us organize his funeral service at no cost at one of the local churches. I remember asking my mom (who is on permanent disability due to multiple sclerosis) that week, if she would have to go back to work. She told me not to worry about money and to just be a kid. Being so young, I was unaware of the financial burden this journey had placed upon our family but how does one place monetary value on time?

My dad had no life insurance. At the age of 34, he was denied a policy, due to a kidney ailment. He was listed as “uninsurable.” Without the security of life insurance, our family changed our spending habits and sold many assets such as our motorhome, boat and even my dad’s car, due to the debt incurred from treatment. While this may seem practical, it was hard selling these assets which all had a good memory or story attached. I contributed in a way that only a 12-year old could at the time. I sold personal possessions at garage sales, learned how to flip sneakers and clothing and did various jobs for family members to help my mom. In the next few years, I got jobs refereeing and tutoring at my Boys & Girls Club. I was learning the value of money.

Today, as I reflect on seven years ago, I realize that I had learned a new word in 2015, resiliency. While I cannot afford a four-year university like many of my friends today, I manage to self-finance my education through scholarships and grants. I am currently a full-time student at Moorpark Community College working towards my Associate’s Degree and will pursue a Bachelor’s degree in business at California State University Northridge (CSUN) in 2023. The “Life Lessons” scholarship by Life Happens will help me sustain my continuing education and I greatly appreciate your time and consideration as a recipient and ambassador.