As a child, losing one parent is hard enough, but losing two is traumatic. At the age of five I loss my mother. And when I say “loss” I do not mean she passed away. She was convicted on federal charges and sentenced to 20 years incarceration. At that age, I didn’t understand what was really going on but 20 years away from my mother felt like the agony and pain of death. She wouldn’t see me go to my first dance or teach me basic life skills like cooking. She was going to miss everything. I was fortunate enough that my younger brother and I were taken in by my mother’s uncle. He stepped up and gave us the home environment that we needed to grow. As the years passed the pain of losing my mother slowly went away. My great uncle became the father I never knew. He introduced me to sports, music, cooking. All of the things I thought I would miss out on without having a mother. I lived with him for almost 10 years. One day he went to the emergency room for a migraine that he’d been complaining about for weeks. He was admitted for testing. The next day he died. The doctors said he had brain cancer. What I thought was a quick trip to the hospital changed my life forever. My dad was gone and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. A piece of me died when I heard the news. My grades suffered and I became withdrawn from everything and everyone.

Advancing my education was always pushed upon me. So when I lost the man I called dad making plans for the future became difficult. I had to relocate and didn’t know what high school I would attend let alone what college. The thought of paying out of pocket for an education stressed me out but it didn’t deter me. I’ve always dreamt of becoming a veterinarian in order to save helpless animals and to have financial stability. Money or the lack there of will not stop me.

My dad did not have life insurance. The neighbors in the community we lived in donated money in order to have him cremated and the church where he was a member hosted the memorial service. Since I was only 14, no one involved me in the planning. I know that if he had a policy he would have left a significant amount of money for me and my brother to be taken care of and to attend college. Now I’m faced with figuring it out on my own.
My brother and I ended up moving in with my aunt. She’s doesn’t have much but she tries. I gave up my childhood and dreams of playing football. If I’m not in school, I’m working at my part-time job or volunteering at the nearby animal shelter. Every dollar I make is a step towards my dreams of going to college and becoming a veterinarian.

Losing my mother to complications of diabetes and kidney disease at the age of 13 absolutely broke me. Despite my mother’s illnesses, there was never a moment where I thought she would die at 52. Even the day she left us, I had no idea how much my life would change. Without my mother’s disability checks, my father was left struggling due to his own disabilities preventing him from working full-time. He did whatever he could to provide for us, but it was never enough. My mother never had life insurance, and this meant that every day after her death was lived in question. When will we have to move? How long can we make this financial assistance last? How will I ever afford college, or even the SAT? My life would absolutely be different if my mother had left us life insurance. I spent years worried about the financial burden I had on my father’s empty pockets that I barely had time to be a teenager. We had nothing for funeral expenses, medical bills or other costs. My half-sisters helped when they could but couldn’t support us completely. Life insurance would’ve granted me a moment to grieve my mother separately from our financial turmoil. One thing I have learned is that it is never too early to get life insurance.
Throughout high school, I struggled through adolescence while grieving the loss of my role model and confidante. I studied and tried every extracurricular possible in hopes to attend college on scholarship. Late nights at musical rehearsal and 18-hour debate tournaments taught me that nothing is easy, but hard work pays off. I chose my college solely for it being the most affordable. I did not get the opportunity to “shop around” as many students do. Currently a junior, I work seven different part-time jobs to pay bills and tuition. I am majoring in Secondary Education and this degree has many hidden expenses. My father is unable to even provide for himself fully, so I am alone financially. I am determined to graduate college as I know my mom wanted it wholeheartedly. A letter she wrote me while on her deathbed explains how she will always love me and knew I would go far in life. It means a lot to me that I am able to go far because of this. Her words comfort me through my grief.

Working 30 hours a week while studying and participating in extracurriculars is almost enough to shut me down. I envy the students with parents able to finance their degree without the endless hours at work and constant anxiety, but I always look to the finish line. I know graduating will feel like I am finally past a massive barrier worsened by the unfortunate loss of my beautiful mother. The sleepless nights, tireless study sessions and sadness felt on family weekend will all be worth it. I will soon be a teacher, able to advocate for students going through exactly this.

“When survival is threatened by seemingly insurmountable problems, an individual life-form or species will either die, become extinct, or rise above the limitations of its condition.” Eckhart Tolle’s quote describes my life experiences and ongoing financial struggles.

On January 14, 2010, my father passed away from an asthma attack and complications from sarcoidosis, a 9/11 related illness. The eerie darkness of that night will forever be embedded in my mind. I remember the vacant stare on his face, the cold tight grip of his hand in mine. Having no effect, the asthma pump was deemed useless. My eyes overflowed with tears as fear engulfed me. I watched his bodily fluids slowly seep into the carpet beneath him. I barely registered the feet of the EMTs behind me, but it was too late. He loosened his grip on my small bright red hands. At that moment, I knew my father was gone, and there was nothing I could do to bring him back.

My mother and three sisters’ grocery shopping trip ended abruptly after a phone call from the emergency room. As he was the family’s breadwinner, my father’s lack of life insurance strongly left a heavy burden on us: emotionally and financially. We had to sell our possessions, such as our car and furniture, to pay for funeral expenses. Coming from a Christian family, we wanted to send off my father in the best way. However, our financial challenges didn’t stop there. Putting off her degree, my mom worked overtime to provide for my sisters and me. She often left home at 6:00 AM and came home after 9:00 PM, working multiple jobs. Even with my mom’s hard work, the bills continued to pile up, our debt infinitely increasing on our mortgage, property tax, and utility expenses.

At eleven, I had once enjoyed watching television but instead decided to prepare all my siblings’ meals, help them with their homework, and wake them for school the next day. When I turned 16, I contributed financially as a grocery bagger and ice cream server. Devastatingly in 2017, my mother was laid off from her highest-paying job. Our world took a turn for the worst. Money saved for my sisters and me to attend college went towards catching up on bills. If my father had life insurance, the funds could have helped with his burial, which caused my mom to acquire insurmountable debt as she fell behind on other urgent expenses.

While reviewing my financial award letters with my unemployed mother in 2019, my dream colleges seemed impossible. Despite graduating as salutatorian, I had to reject Penn State, Fordham, and St. John’s University due to our lack of finances. However I’ve been making the most out of City College, gaining admission to the S. Jay Levy Fellowship, Skadden Arps Honors Program, and the National Honor Society. During the pandemic, my mom contracted COVID-19, and while she is still recovering, I am working a full-time retail job to assist financially.

When I was seventeen years old, my father lost his battle with kidney failure and cardiovascular disease. As long as I shall live, I do not believe that I will ever forget the first moment I saw my father’s once vibrant face in that cold and unforgiving casket. I won’t forget his lifeless and defeated hands, or how his pale lips would never utter another joke or speak to his grandchildren. Even though the day of his funeral was undoubtedly the worst day of my life, I wish I could relive it just to be with him one more time. Since that moment, I have felt as if all of my grief and longing resides underneath my skin with nothing to relieve the pressure. On January 12th, 2019, I lost my voice of reason, my confidant, my cheerleader, and my best friend.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, I had lost so much more. Upon my father’s passing, he left us with funeral and medical expenses that his insurance would not cover. Because he did not have any form of life insurance, the financial burden of his death was now the responsibility of my mother and me. Even though my mother worked day and nights trying to keep the business my parents shared afloat, she was forced to claim bankruptcy and give up her dream. Now left with no job, I decided to apply for a job to help out. I work anywhere from twenty-five to thirty-five hours a week, and I am also a full-time high honor student. I sacrificed my social life and the joy that every senior in high school should experience. Instead of football games and homecoming, I had to deal with mourning and the possibility that I would not attend college because of my family’s financial troubles.
If my father had a life insurance policy, we would not have to work ourselves to the bone and sacrifice our physical and emotional well-being to keep up with expenses. I would not have to worry so intensely about the future of my education on top of the crippling grief that I have felt over the last three years. If this devastating experience has taught me anything, it is this: financial planning for these situations is absolutely invaluable. I will not soon forget the stress and despair that I have experienced, and I now realize that to have a life insurance policy is to throw your surviving family members a crucial lifeline. Though no one can ever prepare you for the trauma of losing a parent, life insurance allows you to grieve without the constant stress of financial burden, and for that reason, it is an absolutely essential precaution.